In honor of me today, since it is my birthday, I thought I would post a picture of one of my favorite days at one of my favorite places. During the summer, we frequent a beach with dear friends. "Float Around Beach" is hands down one of my favorite places in.the.world. The current is such that you start at one point of the large ocean circle and literally float around the entire area. It is difficult to explain. It is easier to let go and float.
I have floated around this location many times. Sometimes we use boogie boards. Our kids use life jackets. Both grown ups and kids float. Often over and over. "Ready for a float around?" Music to my ears.
In this particular picture, on this particular day, I learned to let go. Seriously let go. I can honestly say in all of my days I have never felt so free. It is hard to see, but if you look close you can see I am in full float. I felt as carefree as I look. I could hear the water rushing by and feel it moving my body around. I was not even sure of the direction I was heading. And not even caring.
I think it is a good lesson for me. Not the not caring part...but the part about not being worried about the direction I was heading. Sometimes I get caught up in the direction I am going. As long as I am moving forward, I need to let go.
I turned 40 today. I have to say I know it is a hard birthday for some people. It is not difficult for me. I don't want to get all MS here, but it is an issue. Fourteen years ago when I was diagnosed with MS, I would not even let myself envision what today would look like. I did not know what tricks my body would pull. My visions of MS were "old school" - they were worst case scenario Polaroids developing before my eyes.
I am not those Polaroids. I am strong, positive, and fortunate. And this is not to say I am without problems. I am. But it is not how I choose to look at it.
I mustered up the strength without breaking down to explain to my husband this morning. That I do not need anything for my birthday - I really do indeed have all that I need.
Some of my girlfriends took me to a wonderful lunch today. I was truly surprised by it all. I was overwhelmed by their generosity. Each of these women are so different, but we share so much of the same. They are "islanders" If I was to be stuck on a desert island - they are people I would want beside me. They give to their families, their community, their friends. They inspire me to be a better person. To listen more. To share more. I am fortunate that they shared today with me. And in the spirit of not being worried about the direction I am heading, I can honestly say that today I am heading down the right path.
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